For some odd reason, today I began thinking about the degree to which one must suspend their disbelief in order to enjoy Superman. And thus, I present my findings here, in my of-late neglected blog.

Specifically, the biggest problem that I have is that, in order to make engrossing storylines, there must be an inherent danger to the hero. This is difficult in any story, especially with recurring heroes, as is the case in comics, TV series, and film franchises, as your hero is the one selling tickets, attracting viewers, and getting those comics off the shelves.

But, for those of you who haven't noticed, Superman is a fucking god in all but name.

Superman used to be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to jump entire buildings in a single bound. Now, his list of skills and feats is far more impressive. We all know about the freeze-breath, the heat-vision, x-ray vision, his ability to fly at supersonic speeds, and his nearly-complete invincibility.

But add to those the abilities granted to him in film, television, and one-off comics, and you begin to wonder why churches aren't erected. In Superman 2, he flew around the earth counter-clockwise so fast that he reversed the direction of its rotation and literally turned back fucking time.

In an episode of Lois and Clark, he was trapped in a cage of kryptonite bars that he was unable to bend or break, so he "vibrated" so fast that the molecules of his body separated, floated through the bars, and reformed on the other side. Great, now, not only is he a master of all he surveys, he's a fucking sex toy.

In Superman 3, which is decidedly not his greatest showing, while fighting the fellow aliens, he ripped the logo off his chest and threw it, trapping them in some kind of cellophane bullsh - you know, seriously, what kind of shit writer needs to INVENT a new superpower for the only fictional character more gifted than Jesus?

And, you'd think that with a list of powers this long, he'd have a pretty serious weakness. After all, you need some kind of drama, right? Remember that danger I mentioned earlier that a story needs to make it compelling? Like, maybe his powers require an extreme amount of concentration and will mentally and/or physically exhaust him if used too extensively. Or maybe he only gains these powers when he's angry or sexually aroused, or some other bullshit, so that at least part of the time, he's a regular, vulnerable person.

But no. He has no weakness on earth. The only weakness he possesses comes in the form of kryptonite, a non-earth mineral that's so rare, only the lucky can find it, and only the rich can afford it. To say that the stuff is scarce is a massive understatement.

So, to clarify; unless you've got this incredibly rare piece of a goddamn space rock, you'd be better off filling a Supersoaker with jizz and hoping he gets so grossed out that he just lets you go.

Oh, and about that kryptonite stuff... You may remember that in the movie Superman Returns, Lex Luthor made an island of that shit, prison-shanked Superman with a nice chunk of it, and even still, he was able to lift a fucking island out of the ocean floor and throw it into space. He spent the night in a hospital, presumably just so doctors could observe his superhuman balls in a controlled environment.

Even more frustrating is when Superman is cast in a support role. A team-member. Like the Justice League.

Teams are supposed to work together in such a way as to utilize each member's unique skills and cover for any weaknesses. But clearly, when the only accomplishment missing from your resume is creating life, the team relationship is decidedly one-way. Many Justice League plots, as well as those from similar shows/comics that put Superman into a team role, completely neglect to explain why Superman needs any of these other superheroes. Did I mention that he once turned back fucking time?

One show, a teen Justice League kind of show full of a bunch of no-name heroes that presumably all died when Superman told them to fuck off, accurately demonstrated how the team really works. Teenage Superman meets this girl who immediately realizes she wants him to fuck her brains out, but he keeps telling her that the team needs her. Possibly because he's fucking Superman, and they're the Green Teabagger or some shit. So she gets jealous and sends a false distress signal in space (suspended disbelief is, afterall, the main point of this whole diatribe), which sends Superman off on a wild goose chase for the next nine minutes. In the meantime, she teams up with the main badguys from this episode and raids the Dorm Room of Justice and immediately incapacitates all of the other adolescent "heroes." Superman flies back, apologizes for taking so long and explains it's because he stopped off to have sex with a neutron star or whatever, and then single-handedly defeats everybody. The jealous rich bitch is leading them all in a big robot suit kind of thing, which he dismantles in seconds. When she asks how, he basically looks at her and says, and I might be paraphrasing a bit here, "Hi, I'm fucking Superman. So unless you're hiding some green shit behind your back, I'm going to throw your spoiled ass into the sun." End of episode. Pizza party commences.

Getting the picture? This is how Superman was supposed to be. Siegal and Shuster got their asses kicked as kids, and wanted to create someone whose ass was completely unkickable. But sadly, an unkickable ass does not lend itself well to compelling storytelling.

Tonight was the first round of performances for the top twenty dancers on So You Think You Can Dance.

First off, wow. This was an amazing round of performances, with only one falling slightly flat for me. And to be fair, it's from the dancer I expected the least from.

But, secondly, and possibly more important to the competition as a whole... At the very end of the show, as the credits rolled and Cat Deeley announced the local news to follow, there was a bit of text mixed in.

Some folks may have heard about the so-called "texting parties" that so greatly influenced the outcome of American Idol. Well, that won't be a problem with So You Think You Can Dance. There were a few lines of text that went by during the credits that stated that if the producers identify any "power texting," voting with the aid of "technological enhancements," or other forms of vote-bombing, they have the right to reject those votes.

I don't watch Idol, so I can't complain about who did or didn't win. In fact, I can't even say who actually did win. But I can say that I'm glad to see that this Fox competition is being run a bit more honestly, fairly, and openly. This is the kind of transparency that competitions like this, which are largely based on the votes of the viewers, should champion.

And Kayla, with that samba she did with Max... That's why I watch this show. Hot.